Embrace
your struggles poetically
Inviting readers into a world where pain transforms into beautiful prose.
Poetry. Where It All Began.
Forced to return to school in 1990 at the age of 30 in order to keep a job I quickly discovered a talent and joy in writing. It allowed me to express myself and ideas in ways I never knew I had within me.
My first poem was Inside, Outside, Upside Down. It was to be the precursor or revelation to an impending mental health disorder I was unaware of. I wrote for years shoving my works aside, then in 2019 I began pouring over all of this and discovered it reflected the various moods and emotions I had been going through.
I feel very much anyone that has struggled with any mental health issue can relate to this poetry, but my desire is to ultimately bring an awareness to a world that doesn’t understand the depths or range of where these feelings can go. If one person can identify with one poem and gain an understanding to better support someone who struggles then I feel my job is done.
As a Christian, I have seen my share of the hurting people that have been accused of being “possessed” and this pains my heart deeply. Mental health issues is scary, I don’t deny that, but so much of it can be helped with medications and therapy. We do not deny a diabetic insulin or accuse them of possession, so why would we attack a chemical imbalance in the brain this way?
Awareness is the key to breaking stigmas. My desire and prayer is something connects with someone letting them know they are not alone, but with others to see a different perspective. Some poems will make no sense to anyone but me and maybe it’s meant to be that way. You will read about fear, sorrow, pain, darkness, and even silly quirky thoughts that make us laugh. Mental illness is not always doom and gloom.
Mental health issue’s are not the end of the world, and while it frightens many, I have learned to find strengths I would never have known without this disorder. Hope is out there and a diagnosis does not define us. Empowerment happens when we choose to embrace what is and accept the challenge of turning something fearful or negative into a positive.
Seeking to find beauty in everything that seems ugly and unacceptable, because Beauty is a matter of perspective.
Come Join Me…
This compilation of poetry is a heartfelt reflection of the nine years she had with her last husband. Hoping to share a lifetime beyond what they had, pain creeps in when she least expects. Writing helps keep his memory alive and yet assists in healing as well. Recognizing that grief will now forever be a part of her life she hopes to enlighten feelings of love and loss that you too may feel.
Poetry from a Bipolar Mind is a collection of poetry depicting the various emotions I’ve experienced through the years. Some exhibit confusion, fear, or anger, and then some reflect the silliness sometimes felt. It shares trials as well as celebrations and self discovery.
“Although I struggle with clinical depression and not bipolar disorder I see remnants of myself in these poems and I am beginning to see where the difference between depression and bipolar begin.” - Anonymous
“For what a disability is to you, is actually an ability to me. For the moods I have that scare you, actually help me better to see. Because my emotions swing so wide, I can better understand. And while my moods may frighten you, I know they are all part of God’s plan.” - Judy Williams
Judy’s Story
Judy has three children scattered all over the United States. She and their father raised them in Las Vegas where she grew up and lived most of her life. For a brief nine years she lived in Alabama with her last husband until his death in 2018 whereby she returned to Vegas.
Feeling an academic failure she feared higher education and longed to simply be a homemaker and full time mother. But as life took a few turns she felt forced into entering the workforce. Judy took a job with the Clark County School District working nights as a custodian to save money from paying for childcare.
When her youngest was ready she decided to enter the classroom as an assistant. Her first experience was working with what at the time was designated as Severely Emotionally Challenged Children. She found herself thriving as she learned how to interact with children having special needs. She found a connection with children and while feeling inadequate academically, she knew she had a gift of inspiration, understanding, and encouragement. Through the years she worked various positions and ended her tenure with the CCSD as an Advocate in the Indian Education Opportunities Program.
Upon reflection she now realizes it was because of her own emotional battles that equipped her to better relate to her students. She understood the importance of encouragement and how one connection can change the trajectory for students just knowing someone believes in them.
Her life is not one of perfection for she has fallen in ways that shame her, yet she chooses to use the ugliness to illuminate a path to help others through their inner healings.
Her writings are far from perfect, but in imperfection beauty can be found and hope inspired. And that is her wish for you as the reader, that you too, find a sense of hope and connection to see life through a different lens.